








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 135 | 26% |
| Smokes | 140 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 155 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 89 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,803 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barnaby Cobbledick | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | i hate kids | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | SiwaBoss | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Hyvin tumma | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | AthomtCSgoSkins | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barnaby Cobbledick | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | i hate kids | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | SiwaBoss | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Hyvin tumma | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | AthomtCSgoSkins | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyvin tumma | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | i hate kids | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | SiwaBoss | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | AthomtCSgoSkins | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyvin tumma | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | i hate kids | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Barnaby Cobbledick | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | SiwaBoss | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | AthomtCSgoSkins | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SiwaBoss | +7.03 | 70 | 1 |
| #2 | Barnaby Cobbledick | +3.64 | 58 | 45 |
| #3 | i hate kids | +2.71 | 38 | 44 |
| #4 | Hyvin tumma | -0.22 | 36 | 35 |
| #5 | Jesus | -0.22 | 34 | 16 |





