








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1775 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3174 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3049 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3138 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,440 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Besuken | 64% | 170 |
| #2 | A!m | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | 3lrul0 | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | lu★ | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | TuToflash [ESP] | 52% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lu★ | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | TuToflash [ESP] | 52% | 89 |
| #6 | sbt | 51% | 55 |
| #7 | Scream | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | (blade) T-T | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Besuken | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | lu★ | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | TuToflash [ESP] | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | sbt | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Scream | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A!m | 248 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | TuToflash [ESP] | 242 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | sbt | 212 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | 3lrul0 | 148 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Besuken | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scream | +6.46 | 87 | 40 |
| #2 | PaTo | +2.44 | 62 | 61 |
| #3 | TuToflash [ESP] | +1.67 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | sbt | +1.24 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Besuken | +1.00 | 74 | 34 |





