








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 280 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2281 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4029 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6027 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,566,519 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doraj_ | 84 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Juicy | 79 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Padgley | 27 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Outerlane | 18 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Cylindrical Meat Stick | 12 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doraj_ | 1612 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | Juicy | 1447 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #3 | Padgley | 604 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Trump | 396 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | acidlad69 | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |





