










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 347 | 24% |
| Smokes | 490 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 331 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,042 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ole.mdr02 | 38% | 8 |
| #2 | Infected_pigeon | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | YOUMADFISH | 29% | 35 |
| #4 | YOUMADCALLME | 26% | 46 |
| #5 | Sjeiken | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sjeiken | 24% | 17 |
| #6 | YOUMADDUTTE™ | 23% | 73 |
| #7 | YOUMADBEAN™ | 23% | 61 |
| #8 | Mayhell | 14% | 14 |
| #9 | YOUMADBRO™ | 10% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOUMADBEAN™ | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | YOUMADBRO™ | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | YOUMADCALLME | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sjeiken | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | YOUMADDUTTE™ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOUMADBEAN™ | 310 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | YOUMADBRO™ | 141 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | YOUMADCALLME | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | YOUMADFISH | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sjeiken | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOUMADBRO™ | +3.76 | 43 | 79 |
| #2 | YOUMADBEAN™ | +0.69 | 17 | 73 |
| #3 | Mayhell | +0.21 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Sjeiken | -0.32 | 2 | 37 |
| #5 | YOUMADCALLME | -0.86 | 12 | 41 |





