








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 973 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1186 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 987 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 690 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,515 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M.o.r.F. | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | StoneCold | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Bockwurst | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Ich war s nicht, oder doch?! | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Dermitdermaustanzt | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | hARDN6 | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | rocksstorm | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | myLittle PwnY | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | ۞ ƬƖƓƦƖS ☯ 🐯🇩🇪 | 32% | 19 |
| #12 | BlacPain | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ۞ ƬƖƓƦƖS ☯ 🐯🇩🇪 | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Ich war s nicht, oder doch?! | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | AcoSaft | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Sp33dy2005 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Dermitdermaustanzt | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rocksstorm | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sp33dy2005 | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | BlacPain | 18 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | M.o.r.F. | 17 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ich war s nicht, oder doch?! | 15 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AcoSaft | +2.46 | 48 | 41 |
| #2 | myLittle PwnY | +2.13 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | Jabbaroo | +1.57 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | rocksstorm | +0.28 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | M.o.r.F. | -0.06 | 55 | 65 |





