








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1408 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2163 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,323 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CSO] | C☢☢kieM☢ИST[G]ER | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Jabbaroo | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Jefferson | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | M.o.r.F. | 46% | 87 |
| #5 | ۞ ƬƖƓƦƖS ☯ 🐯🇩🇪 | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BlacPain | 40% | 55 |
| #11 | rocksstorm | 39% | 64 |
| #12 | Jabbaro | 38% | 21 |
| #13 | m4sh | 29% | 14 |
| #14 | Jengo28 | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlacPain | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | M.o.r.F. | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | [CSO] | C☢☢kieM☢ИST[G]ER | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | SenhorVS | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Bockwurst | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M.o.r.F. | 238 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | BlacPain | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | rocksstorm | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ۞ ƬƖƓƦƖS ☯ 🐯🇩🇪 | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | SenhorVS | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jabbaro | +4.08 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Jefferson | +2.73 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | Jabbaroo | +2.47 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | rocksstorm | +1.72 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | M.o.r.F. | +1.32 | 45 | 65 |





