










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 28 | 15% |
| Smokes | 23 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 69 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 66 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,612 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1786 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virtuosa | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | emmie | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | 🕷 | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | yoyobanana | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | Kuro | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kuro | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | Naughtz | 28% | 18 |
| #7 | zuko | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | Z3R0STARZ | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | zyte | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | 5 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Kuro | 4 | 0.0209 |
| #3 | zyte | 4 | 0.0248 |
| #4 | Naughtz | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | yoyobanana | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoyobanana | 196 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #2 | zyte | 29 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kuro | 26 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Virtuosa | 26 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | Naughtz | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | +8.99 | 80 | 34 |
| #2 | 🕷 | +5.56 | 77 | 33 |
| #3 | yoyobanana | +3.82 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | zuko | +3.03 | 41 | 68 |
| #5 | Virtuosa | -0.40 | 58 | 57 |





