








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 228 matches | ||
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4351 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3126 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2176 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4202 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,435,237 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken Caesar Salad | 44% | 81 |
| #2 | Newters | 43% | 141 |
| #3 | Freakwood | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | guh... | 39% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken Caesar Salad | 44% | 81 |
| #2 | Newters | 43% | 141 |
| #3 | Freakwood | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | guh... | 39% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newters | 108 | 0.0404 |
| #2 | guh... | 81 | 0.0270 |
| #3 | Freakwood | 14 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Chicken Caesar Salad | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guh... | 586 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Newters | 166 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chicken Caesar Salad | 136 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Freakwood | 114 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newters | +4.96 | 79 | 30 |
| #2 | Freakwood | +3.50 | 69 | 48 |
| #3 | Chicken Caesar Salad | +0.32 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | guh... | -0.23 | 54 | 45 |
| #5 | LABeast | -1.19 | 38 | 40 |





