








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 777 | 34% |
| Smokes | 708 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 485 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 303 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,413 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 669 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | edgeception | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | nostalgian | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Newters | 46% | 80 |
| #4 | LABeast | 44% | 81 |
| #5 | guh... | 41% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newters | 57 | 0.0385 |
| #2 | guh... | 49 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | LABeast | 24 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | Freakwood | 16 | 0.0274 |
| #5 | edgeception | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guh... | 398 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | LABeast | 127 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Freakwood | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Newters | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | edgeception | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | edgeception | +6.39 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | Newters | +3.89 | 78 | 33 |
| #3 | Freakwood | +1.60 | 66 | 44 |
| #4 | Chicken Caesar Salad | -0.30 | 61 | 47 |
| #5 | guh... | -1.37 | 49 | 45 |





