








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2571 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Wingman | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




235 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2705 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2272 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2874 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1264 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,342,347 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1862 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | futret | 91% | 34 |
| #2 | pickleball player | 85% | 209 |
| #3 | Cru7nchy | 68% | 44 |
| #4 | Bellwood | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | SKIBIDI SIGMA | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pickleball player | 85% | 209 |
| #3 | Cru7nchy | 68% | 44 |
| #4 | Bellwood | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | SKIBIDI SIGMA | 57% | 56 |
| #6 | gorillahook lua dev | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickleball player | 52 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | futret | 11 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | gorillahook lua dev | 11 | 0.0205 |
| #4 | SKIBIDI SIGMA | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Cru7nchy | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickleball player | 493 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Bellwood | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cru7nchy | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | SKIBIDI SIGMA | 36 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | futret | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | merkish | +7.53 | 97 | 38 |
| #2 | futret | +4.58 | 85 | 37 |
| #3 | pickleball player | +4.56 | 93 | 55 |
| #4 | Bellwood | +0.79 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | Cru7nchy | -1.40 | 69 | 14 |





