










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3306 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2181 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 525 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,840 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astral Monkey | 48% | 232 |
| #2 | Mr Swoops | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Filthy_Ham | 46% | 287 |
| #4 | ReformedGod | 45% | 385 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astral Monkey | 48% | 232 |
| #2 | Mr Swoops | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Filthy_Ham | 46% | 287 |
| #4 | ReformedGod | 45% | 385 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReformedGod | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Astral Monkey | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Filthy_Ham | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Mr Swoops | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filthy_Ham | 1086 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | ReformedGod | 708 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Astral Monkey | 442 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Mr Swoops | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnome child | +1.38 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | ReformedGod | +1.18 | 86 | 50 |
| #3 | Filthy_Ham | -0.98 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Astral Monkey | -2.73 | 46 | 48 |
| #5 | Mr Swoops | -4.33 | 23 | 12 |





