








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5166 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4243 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2855 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,336 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astral Monkey | 48% | 332 |
| #2 | ReformedGod | 47% | 463 |
| #3 | gnome child | 46% | 287 |
| #4 | Mr Swoops | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astral Monkey | 48% | 332 |
| #2 | ReformedGod | 47% | 463 |
| #3 | gnome child | 46% | 287 |
| #4 | Mr Swoops | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReformedGod | 30 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | gnome child | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Astral Monkey | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Mr Swoops | 9 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnome child | 909 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | ReformedGod | 842 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | Astral Monkey | 625 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Mr Swoops | 35 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReformedGod | +1.84 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | gnome child | +1.82 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Filthy_Ham | -0.65 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | Astral Monkey | -2.23 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | Mr Swoops | -4.23 | 22 | 17 |





