








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 832 | 32% |
| Smokes | 862 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 392 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,408 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mao Zedong | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | kebab enjoyer | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | dimitri bobrikov | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | lenni26n | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | apina | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dimitri bobrikov | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | lenni26n | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | apina | 42% | 55 |
| #6 | kurkkumajoneesi | 37% | 27 |
| #7 | Aimbreak | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkkumajoneesi | 13 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | lenni26n | 11 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | apina | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | dimitri bobrikov | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | kebab enjoyer | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lenni26n | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Aimbreak | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | dimitri bobrikov | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | apina | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | kurkkumajoneesi | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimbreak | +1.04 | 47 | 31 |
| #2 | dimitri bobrikov | +0.78 | 59 | 33 |
| #3 | kebab enjoyer | +0.20 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | ନିଗା | -0.25 | 60 | 46 |
| #5 | kurkkumajoneesi | -0.68 | 72 | 22 |





