








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2210 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2207 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1282 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,357 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexander Stubb | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Aimbreak | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | kurkkumajoneesi | 54% | 117 |
| #4 | dimitri bobrikov | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | kebab enjoyer | 51% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kebab enjoyer | 51% | 74 |
| #6 | apina | 50% | 139 |
| #7 | ନିଗା | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | Mao Zedong | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | Ihme_mies | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkkumajoneesi | 29 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | dimitri bobrikov | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | ନିଗା | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Aimbreak | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | apina | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkkumajoneesi | 207 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Aimbreak | 169 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | apina | 165 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | ନିଗା | 116 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | dimitri bobrikov | 106 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimbreak | +2.55 | 52 | 42 |
| #2 | dimitri bobrikov | +1.45 | 52 | 36 |
| #3 | kurkkumajoneesi | +0.48 | 68 | 28 |
| #4 | ନିଗା | +0.24 | 57 | 40 |
| #5 | Ihme_mies | +0.05 | 45 | 58 |





