








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 261 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1127 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1249 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,769,421 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL_EY3Z | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | pixelatedgengar | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | BigPenis6969 | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | chex mix | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | man lover | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL_EY3Z | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | pixelatedgengar | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | BigPenis6969 | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | chex mix | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | man lover | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigPenis6969 | 38 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | man lover | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | chex mix | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | LIL_EY3Z | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | pixelatedgengar | 6 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigPenis6969 | 377 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | chex mix | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | LIL_EY3Z | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | man lover | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | pixelatedgengar | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chex mix | +4.15 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | man lover | +1.32 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | LIL_EY3Z | -0.20 | 52 | 41 |
| #4 | mrandsignup | -0.71 | 71 | 27 |
| #5 | pixelatedgengar | -0.90 | 35 | 31 |





