








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1463 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1963 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1297 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,892 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL_EY3Z | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | man lover | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | mrandsignup | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | pixelatedgengar | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | chex mix | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL_EY3Z | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | man lover | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | mrandsignup | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | pixelatedgengar | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | chex mix | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chex mix | 11 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | man lover | 11 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | LIL_EY3Z | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | mrandsignup | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | pixelatedgengar | 7 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chex mix | 87 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | pixelatedgengar | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | man lover | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | LIL_EY3Z | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | mrandsignup | 39 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chex mix | +3.79 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | man lover | +1.85 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | LIL_EY3Z | +0.16 | 55 | 39 |
| #4 | pixelatedgengar | -0.13 | 38 | 31 |
| #5 | mrandsignup | -0.68 | 70 | 23 |





