










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1072 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1615 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,872 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DurryMuncha | 34% | 71 |
| #6 | Peak Angle | 33% | 57 |
| #7 | peachybreadyt | 29% | 63 |
| #8 | Scawt | 23% | 156 |
| #9 | Ximsy B.J. Sr The 6th | 22% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DurryMuncha | 14 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | DankDoodle420 | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Sullie | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | peachybreadyt | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Scawt | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DankDoodle420 | 204 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | DurryMuncha | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sullie | 131 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Scawt | 84 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | peachybreadyt | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |





