








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4277 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3856 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1780 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,719,846 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1025 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MartoHead | 54% | 113 |
| #2 | Demenz | 47% | 122 |
| #3 | Xynn | 46% | 285 |
| #4 | Tholar | 42% | 156 |
| #5 | Fran | 38% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MartoHead | 54% | 113 |
| #2 | Demenz | 47% | 122 |
| #3 | Xynn | 46% | 285 |
| #4 | Tholar | 42% | 156 |
| #5 | Fran | 38% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tholar | 68 | 0.0225 |
| #2 | Xynn | 32 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Fran | 23 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Demenz | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | MartoHead | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xynn | 1083 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | MartoHead | 456 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Demenz | 293 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Fran | 270 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tholar | 205 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demenz | +1.59 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | MartoHead | +1.02 | 54 | 65 |
| #3 | Kevao | +0.66 | 42 | 60 |
| #4 | Xynn | +0.06 | 51 | 69 |
| #5 | Fran | -3.25 | 13 | 51 |





