








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1563 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1806 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1306 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,587 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demenz | 45% | 40 |
| #2 | Xynn | 42% | 59 |
| #3 | Kevao | 38% | 94 |
| #4 | Tholar | 38% | 79 |
| #5 | MartoHead | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tholar | 27 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | Kevao | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Demenz | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Xynn | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | MartoHead | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevao | 238 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Xynn | 190 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | MartoHead | 148 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tholar | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Demenz | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MartoHead | +4.94 | 54 | 68 |
| #2 | Demenz | +3.89 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Kevao | +1.47 | 43 | 62 |
| #4 | Xynn | +1.08 | 51 | 66 |
| #5 | Fran | -1.81 | 14 | 53 |





