








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 726 | 33% |
| Smokes | 691 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 375 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,246 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kane | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Ari Kalsari | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 41% | 49 |
| #4 | Velmu | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kane | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Ari Kalsari | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 41% | 49 |
| #4 | Velmu | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Ari Kalsari | 9 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Velmu | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | kane | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ari Kalsari | 133 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | kane | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Velmu | 47 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobrEnjoyer | +1.41 | 61 | 49 |
| #2 | Ari Kalsari | +0.05 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Velmu | -2.05 | 47 | 65 |
| #4 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | -2.14 | 46 | 49 |
| #5 | kane | -2.42 | 46 | 49 |





