








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3536 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2153 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2262 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1628 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,352 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 53% | 102 |
| #3 | Lussii | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | kane | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Marjanpoimija | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 53% | 102 |
| #3 | Lussii | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | kane | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Marjanpoimija | 48% | 79 |
| #6 | BobrEnjoyer | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | BobrEnjoyer | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | kane | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Marjanpoimija | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Lussii | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JormaCertifiedForkliftOperator | 339 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | kane | 288 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Marjanpoimija | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | | 95 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #5 | BobrEnjoyer | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lussii | +2.86 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | BobrEnjoyer | +1.17 | 57 | 49 |
| #3 | Marjanpoimija | +1.12 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | Ari Kalsari | +1.07 | 61 | 69 |
| #5 | | +0.93 | 56 | 76 |





