








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 977 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8471 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5894 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4828 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4629 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,599,754 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | karloZ <3 | 51% | 135 |
| #6 | Tex Mex | 51% | 478 |
| #7 | Salamander Man | 50% | 128 |
| #8 | MoonMan69 | 50% | 230 |
| #9 | iCrisby | 49% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex Mex | 32 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | iCrisby | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | muts | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | KimBobTraktor | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Salamander Man | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex Mex | 1642 | 0.17 | 40 min |
| #2 | iCrisby | 751 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | KimBobTraktor | 528 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | muts | 224 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | MoonMan69 | 219 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex Mex | +3.19 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | koitres | +2.07 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | muts | +1.12 | 36 | 66 |
| #4 | iCrisby | +0.53 | 50 | 65 |
| #5 | черепаха | -0.63 | 60 | 64 |





