








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1009 | 36% |
| Smokes | 856 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,219 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =) | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Perish | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Dalto | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Nailbag | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =) | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Perish | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Dalto | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Nailbag | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalto | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalto | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | =) | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Perish | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nailbag | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houdini | +4.47 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | Nailbag | +0.93 | 98 | 67 |
| #3 | Dalto | -1.35 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | =) | -1.68 | 44 | 76 |
| #5 | Perish | -2.07 | 41 | 74 |





