








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3771 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4891 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4665 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4216 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,871,164 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houdini | 468 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Schlump Cresva | 287 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Houdini | 191 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | Perish | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Butter | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houdini | +4.26 | 77 | 71 |
| #2 | Schlump Cresva | +3.45 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | Houdini | +3.21 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Dalto | +1.10 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Perish | -0.36 | 53 | 65 |





