








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7509 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4943 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5117 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4278 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,930 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Xavier 🐐 | 60% | 130 |
| #3 | Hospital Patient | 54% | 215 |
| #4 | GodQueenTyreen | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | WOGTIME | 53% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hospital Patient | 1066 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #2 | WOGTIME | 463 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | CHICKENJOE | 302 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | GodQueenTyreen | 220 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xavier 🐐 | 186 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Txchsticle | +5.51 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | Xavier 🐐 | +2.02 | 76 | 46 |
| #3 | Hospital Patient | +0.77 | 48 | 48 |
| #4 | GodQueenTyreen | -0.02 | 38 | 53 |
| #5 | pc check passer ferj | -1.17 | 50 | 45 |





