








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2097 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




212 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14371 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8938 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9626 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8742 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,312,215 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 么P i e r o l e x x | 2159 | 0.27 | 56 min |
| #2 | Temach | 1282 | 0.17 | 38 min |
| #3 | Kendork | 1172 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #4 | GoldenGallo | 613 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #5 | _borj_ | 547 | 0.08 | 11 min |





