








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 450 | 21% |
| Smokes | 717 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 401 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 549 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,419 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sampleyy | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | sqreet | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | markussB | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Tavs papucis #redtube.com | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | LABy | 75% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kebab Maker | 72% | 18 |
| #8 | sad boys 2011 | 67% | 6 |
| #9 | retrys | 67% | 15 |
| #10 | Can1zs | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | whiskas^^ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retrys | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | LABy | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | sqreet | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | whiskas^^ | 1 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wardenj | 56 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | retrys | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kebab Maker | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | LABy | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | sqreet | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sqreet | +4.17 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | rob3rts ;x | +4.12 | 95 | 52 |
| #3 | LABy | +3.26 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | whiskas^^ | +1.17 | 94 | 64 |
| #5 | Sampleyy | +1.00 | 59 | 70 |





