








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 961 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2456 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5976 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6477 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4531 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,298,498 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanisius | 51% | 126 |
| #2 | Tфld | 51% | 166 |
| #3 | Xarik | 50% | 261 |
| #4 | Tony West Jr. | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | Tøld | 48% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tфld | 31 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | assurance tourisque | 26 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Tøld | 22 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Told | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Xarik | 10 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tфld | 1075 | 0.31 | 26 min |
| #2 | Tøld | 815 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | Told | 664 | 0.29 | 16 min |
| #4 | kalopsa | 474 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | Xarik | 304 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | assurance tourisque | +2.94 | 63 | 44 |
| #2 | Tøld | +1.96 | 57 | 55 |
| #3 | Told | +1.78 | 44 | 68 |
| #4 | kalopsa | +0.85 | 35 | 60 |
| #5 | Tony West Jr. | +0.76 | 35 | 66 |





