








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5741 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3448 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3540 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1060 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,468 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 949 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tфld | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Xarik | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Yanisius | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Tøld | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | assurance tourisque | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tфld | 9 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | Lapach' Le Plot | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Koko | 6 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Xarik | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | assurance tourisque | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tøld | 193 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tфld | 166 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | Koko | 107 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lapach' Le Plot | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Yanisius | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | assurance tourisque | +3.28 | 61 | 40 |
| #2 | Tøld | +1.81 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | Yanisius | +0.64 | 44 | 47 |
| #4 | Told | +0.54 | 45 | 61 |
| #5 | Xarik | -0.50 | 29 | 63 |





