








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 292 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2200 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2512 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2314 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,589,352 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alzoxe | 55% | 229 |
| #2 | Lobdoreille | 52% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alzoxe | 55% | 229 |
| #2 | Lobdoreille | 52% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobdoreille | 18 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Alzoxe | 11 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobdoreille | 171 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Alzoxe | 55 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alzoxe | +2.00 | 39 | 24 |
| #2 | Bast_T | +0.02 | 44 | 36 |
| #3 | Lobdoreille | -0.32 | 44 | 37 |





