








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4927 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3721 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6331 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4785 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,687 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthritis+Senile | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | lemons | 55% | 139 |
| #3 | ronnie | 53% | 414 |
| #4 | Mrswaggypants | 51% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthritis+Senile | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | lemons | 55% | 139 |
| #3 | ronnie | 53% | 414 |
| #4 | Mrswaggypants | 51% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronnie | 39 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Mrswaggypants | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | lemons | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronnie | 1720 | 0.19 | 48 min |
| #2 | lemons | 402 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mrswaggypants | 356 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Arthritis+Senile | 308 | 0.46 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronnie | +1.82 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | ap | -0.48 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | Arthritis+Senile | -0.70 | 49 | 90 |
| #4 | lemons | -0.76 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | Mrswaggypants | -1.56 | 71 | 39 |





