








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3985 | 64% |
| Smokes | 261 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1032 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,110 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | june | epal.gg | 61% | 110 |
| #2 | DrJamesWestfall | 48% | 88 |
| #3 | glue sniffer | 43% | 67 |
| #4 | Buck | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | june | epal.gg | 61% | 110 |
| #2 | DrJamesWestfall | 48% | 88 |
| #3 | glue sniffer | 43% | 67 |
| #4 | Buck | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glue sniffer | 17 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | DrJamesWestfall | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | june | epal.gg | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Buck | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrJamesWestfall | 355 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | june | epal.gg | 288 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | glue sniffer | 278 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Buck | 27 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arbiter of the huzz | +3.43 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | Buck | +2.72 | 83 | 36 |
| #3 | glue sniffer | -0.27 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | june | epal.gg | -2.17 | 56 | 38 |
| #5 | DrJamesWestfall | -2.89 | 41 | 50 |





