








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1604 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2230 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1333 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 753 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,545 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KelliFM | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | KID | 50% | 105 |
| #6 | Jade | 50% | 74 |
| #7 | Lizard (I need to eat SPAG) | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | NotJade | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KID | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Will | 6 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | NotJade | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | KelliFM | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jade | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KelliFM | 191 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Scout Trainee | 156 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Will | 78 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | KID | 48 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lizard (I need to eat SPAG) | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |





