








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 148 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1910 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1424 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4249 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 2273 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,637,793 of utility $295 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irujAm | 57% | 106 |
| #2 | Eddu the builder (800x600) | 52% | 200 |
| #3 | captain block <3 | 50% | 498 |
| #4 | solu | 48% | 594 |
| #5 | Tepri | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain block <3 | 31 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | solu | 17 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Jenu | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | irujAm | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Eddu the builder (800x600) | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solu | 3613 | 0.30 | 91 min |
| #2 | captain block <3 | 1666 | 0.17 | 43 min |
| #3 | irujAm | 486 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | Jenu | 210 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | the Hamburglar | 195 | 0.14 | 3 min |





