










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 748 | 57% |
| Smokes | 488 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 17 | 1% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,242 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddu the builder (800x600) | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Tepri | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | captain block <3 | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | solu | 38% | 74 |
| #5 | PikkuYy | 36% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solu | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | captain block <3 | 1 | 0.0010 |





