








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 388 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2025 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 676 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,646 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Diddler | 43% | 75 |
| #2 | Top G | 41% | 34 |
| #3 | xCudz | 40% | 58 |
| #4 | Shroud Jr | 39% | 33 |
| #5 | MONSTER | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Diddler | 43% | 75 |
| #2 | Top G | 41% | 34 |
| #3 | xCudz | 40% | 58 |
| #4 | Shroud Jr | 39% | 33 |
| #5 | MONSTER | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Diddler | 29 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | xCudz | 16 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Top G | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Shroud Jr | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | MONSTER | 6 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Diddler | 368 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | MONSTER | 123 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shroud Jr | 77 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Top G | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | xCudz | 5 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroud Jr | +2.78 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | MONSTER | +1.75 | 50 | 76 |
| #3 | Joe Diddler | +1.58 | 46 | 77 |
| #4 | Top G | +1.18 | 56 | 34 |
| #5 | xCudz | +0.49 | 67 | 3 |





