








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1446 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3264 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3292 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,214,769 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Maxifly | 46% | 202 |
| #7 | Agathokakological | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | ❤ vum ❤ | 40% | 25 |
| #9 | Пальма Mutter | 40% | 148 |
| #10 | Ljap | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pho3n1Xx | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Пальма Mutter | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Maxifly | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | soul 是不存在 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Agathokakological | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxifly | 850 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | Пальма Mutter | 326 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Pho3n1Xx | 220 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | KI||I3unn1 | 187 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ljap | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KI||I3unn1 | +4.47 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Maxifly | +1.83 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Agathokakological | +1.51 | 53 | 65 |
| #4 | Pho3n1Xx | +0.96 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | soul 是不存在 | -0.23 | 25 | 29 |





