








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1976 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1111 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1014 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,617 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | TCxKing | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | ExqZee | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Darth Darth Binks | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | trolof | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karmazynowy Chryzopraz Mnemozyna | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | szkorba | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Książe Igthorn | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | RÓW VABICHE | 2 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | Gesiek | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szkorba | 331 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | trolof | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | ExqZee | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | TCxKing | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Majspejs ;f | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |





