








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1832 | 10% |
| Smokes | 5151 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5912 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4998 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,331 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Overlord Zenon | 53% | 173 |
| #2 | Eierkocher Geissini | 47% | 43 |
| #3 | Feierbörd ツ | 45% | 273 |
| #4 | Willem ツ | 45% | 532 |
| #5 | Shiroxツ | 44% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eierkocher Geissini | +3.56 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | Willem ツ | +3.18 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Juuuko | +2.30 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Shiroxツ | +1.43 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Naddy | +1.26 | 79 | 62 |





