








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2722 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1200 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1775 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,168 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memphis Deuhpuhte | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | nathalie go b | 53% | 97 |
| #3 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | Rominux prime | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memphis Deuhpuhte | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | nathalie go b | 53% | 97 |
| #3 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | Rominux prime | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memphis Deuhpuhte | 21 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | nathalie go b | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Rominux prime | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | 8 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memphis Deuhpuhte | 544 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | nathalie go b | 180 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rominux prime | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memphis Deuhpuhte | +4.31 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | nathalie go b | +2.04 | 33 | 54 |
| #3 | Rominux prime | -0.06 | 25 | 50 |
| #4 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | -0.10 | 26 | 60 |
| #5 | KaSlaNTienne | -2.63 | 15 | 47 |





