








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 137 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9582 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7185 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7225 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5459 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,378 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaSlaNTienne | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | Scooby Jew | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | Plow | 50% | 114 |
| #4 | nathalie go b | 46% | 171 |
| #5 | Rominux prime | 45% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | 69 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | nathalie go b | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Rominux prime | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Plow | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | KaSlaNTienne | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Souk Maï Deeq 5% Rank | 912 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Rominux prime | 322 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | KaSlaNTienne | 244 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | nathalie go b | 230 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Plow | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |





