








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 587 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5735 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2653 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5278 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,449,916 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | De'Coldest Crawford | 48% | 205 |
| #2 | Young Birk | 46% | 295 |
| #3 | COMMAND GRAB | 44% | 269 |
| #4 | komcy | 43% | 225 |
| #5 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 40% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Young Birk | 46% | 295 |
| #3 | COMMAND GRAB | 44% | 269 |
| #4 | komcy | 43% | 225 |
| #5 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 40% | 72 |
| #6 | Daddy | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Birk | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | komcy | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | COMMAND GRAB | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMMAND GRAB | 733 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Young Birk | 487 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | komcy | 477 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | De'Coldest Crawford | 289 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | +3.94 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | komcy | +0.21 | 44 | 60 |
| #3 | Young Birk | +0.12 | 55 | 48 |
| #4 | De'Coldest Crawford | +0.06 | 41 | 61 |
| #5 | Gear 5th Slim | -0.22 | 64 | 48 |





