








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 19% |
| Smokes | 891 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1139 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 790 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,986 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neuvokas | 47% | 316 |
| #2 | Bob | 47% | 332 |
| #3 | Juuso Jekku | 46% | 307 |
| #4 | Kirpeakaktus | 45% | 158 |
| #5 | sausagedog | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Kirpeakaktus | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | neuvokas | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Juuso Jekku | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Simpson | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 1106 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Juuso Jekku | 705 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kirpeakaktus | 539 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | neuvokas | 184 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | sausagedog | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sausagedog | +7.36 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | neuvokas | +2.76 | 80 | 27 |
| #3 | Bob | +2.00 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | Kirpeakaktus | +1.23 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | Juuso Jekku | -1.31 | 50 | 30 |





