








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2065 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2507 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 309 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 2109 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,206 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 神奇的郭大爷 | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Uber Eats | 111 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Prophet♂ | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | OE10x2 | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SSSU (i have nice skins) | 55 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SSSU (i have nice skins) | +4.31 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | Prophet♂ | +3.88 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | OE10x2 | +2.43 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | Chijiage | +0.39 | 53 | 62 |
| #5 | Myass | -0.66 | 50 | 60 |





