








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12210 | 53% |
| Smokes | 5179 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2775 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,989,793 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 831 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Kirkifier | 51% | 82 |
| #2 | Zeegis | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | ︻デ 一Mahouazilla™☠ | 50% | 82 |
| #4 | BIGDOG☠ | 48% | 284 |
| #5 | T.R.A.C ♕☠ | 48% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NPC#1 | 1103 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | BIGDOG☠ | 815 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | T.R.A.C ♕☠ | 491 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Agent Masicker☠ | 427 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Zeegis | 150 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Kirkifier | +2.73 | 68 | 46 |
| #2 | Agent Masicker☠ | +1.90 | 31 | 58 |
| #3 | T.R.A.C ♕☠ | +1.60 | 47 | 42 |
| #4 | MrParanoia_☠ | +1.11 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | BIGDOG☠ | +0.17 | 43 | 50 |





