










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1229 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1897 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1495 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,426,964 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirDebussy69 | 48% | 69 |
| #2 | mob | 48% | 84 |
| #3 | Pateno | 47% | 170 |
| #4 | kb | 46% | 120 |
| #5 | BXRD | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mob | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Pateno | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | renny | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | kb | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | what the funkasaurus? | 9 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pateno | 531 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | mob | 236 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | SirDebussy69 | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | tal | 135 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | renny | 118 | 0.04 | 2 min |





