








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,790,306 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 722 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kyington | 42% | 55 |
| #9 | what the funkasaurus? | 40% | 89 |
| #10 | kb | 40% | 80 |
| #11 | BallinBuckeye4 | 39% | 104 |
| #12 | tal | 33% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirDebussy69 | 32 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | what the funkasaurus? | 32 | 0.0175 |
| #3 | mob | 29 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Pateno | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | suckcole | 10 | 0.0031 |





