








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3792 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5810 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5441 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4053 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,003,999 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NL BIZZI | 54% | 408 |
| #2 | Papacito | 52% | 219 |
| #3 | Uwe K. | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | king louie | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | suechtel | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Papacito | 52% | 219 |
| #3 | Uwe K. | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | king louie | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | suechtel | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | daamn | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papacito | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | NL BIZZI | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | daamn | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Uwe K. | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | king louie | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papacito | 331 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | NL BIZZI | 153 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #3 | daamn | 140 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Uwe K. | 131 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | king louie | 53 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king louie | +3.05 | 70 | 50 |
| #2 | NL BIZZI | +1.15 | 59 | 31 |
| #3 | impaLaaa__ | +0.46 | 51 | 60 |
| #4 | daamn | +0.00 | 47 | 72 |
| #5 | Papacito | -0.80 | 41 | 43 |





