








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1986 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1468 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2592 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,631,008 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Error404 | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Papacito | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | impaLaaa__ | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | Kneecap | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | NL BIZZI | 48% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NL BIZZI | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | daamn | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Papacito | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | impaLaaa__ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | suechtel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daamn | 351 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | impaLaaa__ | 161 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | suechtel | 126 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Papacito | 92 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | NL BIZZI | 71 | 0.02 | 2 min |





