








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




227 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2138 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3166 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4306 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3796 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,335,914 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nom nom nom | 54% | 79 |
| #2 | Mar | 54% | 196 |
| #3 | n1ghtc0re | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | KiriGood | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | R20cs | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nom nom nom | 257 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | KiriGood | 117 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | R20cs | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | n1ghtc0re | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mar | 45 | 0.01 | 0 min |





